Many topics divide the world of sex. Foreplay, rimming, the use of sex toys – these are all subjects that can cause a rift between partners, if they find themselves on opposite sides. However, none of these come close to the most divisive one – anal play.

Hate it or love it, anal play has garnered quite the following in recent years. It was once a taboo, but now we’re making memes and jokes about eating ass as if we’ve been doing it for decades! 

So if you’re thinking about turning your curiosity into action, and opening the rear door to some extra action, you should take some preparatory steps to ensure maximum pleasure for you and your partner.

Here’s what to do:

Have The Talk

open communication about anal sex

Sorry girls, I know sex is all about physics and movement, but it’s time to use your lips for something other than kissing, licking, and wrapping them around your partner’s sex organs.

Jokes aside, if you and your partner aren’t ready to have the talk on the subject, it means you’re not ready for it – plain and simple. Talking about the act and setting boundaries will help you ease into it, but also make anal play an enjoyable and fulfilling experience.

If anal play is a no-go for your partner, there should be no hard feelings. Some people like it, some don’t. Sex is an intimate act, and there are no ‘general rules’ when it comes to it. On the other hand, if your partner gets all starry-eyed when you pop the anal question and gives the coveted ‘I do’, congratulations – you’re about to embark on a completely new and amazing trip. 

Let’s be honest – how many of them will refuse? Zero.

But hold up before you pop the champagne – and your backdoor cherry. You’ll need to prepare. Carefully.

Go Back To School

Once you’ve had the talk and you’re all clear on limits and possibilities, it’s time to get the facts straight on all things anal. 


Anal is such a divisive topic because there are myths and misconceptions which often turn people away from trying it in the first place. Take your time, research any subject you might be unsure or insecure about such as potential dangers, hygiene, unknown sensations, etc. You’ll be fine.

Do A Test Run

prepare for anal sex

Before someone puts something in your butt or vice versa, you should try doing it to yourself. Try some finger-play on your own to determine what you like and what you don’t – masturbation helps us understand our precious sex organs and should be used to that end. Lube-up nicely beforehand and go slowly, massaging around the anus, and inserting your finger gently on intervals. 

Back-up if you feel it’s too stiff. Give your body time to adjust and relax! 

No point rushing into it – you’re here to enjoy yourself!

After a few sessions, your body should be all cool with something sliding in back there, so now it’s time to take it to the next level – using sex toys!

Sex Toys Before The Real Thing

Sex toys! Yaaaaay!

Okay, now it’s time to put your rear alley to the test. You must be thinking ‘what’s the point – if it’s okay for a toy then it’s okay for a dick, right?’

Well, kinda, but also not really.

Sex toys will give a lot more control over the penetration. So, get some lube on the toy and your anus, and go very gently. Put it in slowly, bit by bit, as far as you feel comfortable, then have your partner slowly take it out. Repeat it 5-6 times and see if your muscles are relaxed and ready. If your muscles are relaxed still tight, don’t worry about it – there’s always another day!

But if everything’s fine and your body feels the zen vibe, you can proceed with foreplay.


So far, we’ve removed technical obstacles, but now it’s time to get the groove on and in that sexy mood.

Incorporate the forbidden fruit in your foreplay sessions. Foreplay is great for preparation, but as you get more comfortable with anal play, it could add an extra layer of pleasure to the whole sex act. 

Pick The Right Lube – And Be Generous When Applying it!

Vaginal sex is a lot smoother because the vagina lubricates itself naturally, but this isn’t the case with the anus. There are no natural juices that can help reduce friction and that’s why applying lube is a must.

When deciding on lube, make sure to pick one without oils, as these are not compatible with most latex condoms. Oils can break down latex, and no, unprotected sex of any kind is not cool!

Protect Yourself!

protection for anal sex

One of the main misconceptions regarding anal sex is the topic of protection. Just because you can’t get pregnant from anal sex doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use protection!

Performing anal sex without a condom puts you at risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections, so tell them to wrap it up before letting them in!

Pick A Hole And Stick To It

The temptation to mix things up with anal while going vaginal is big – I know. But it’s bad, so don’t do it.

The rectum is full of bacteria, and switching between the two either with a penis or a sex toy is dangerous as you risk contracting a urinary tract infection, vaginosis, or other vaginal or penal issues. Yes, guys, if you’re somehow reading this girls-only site, you’re also at risk if you switch holes!


There’s not a lot that can go wrong if you know what you’re getting yourself into, so read up, prepare, and you’ll be all set to spice up things in the bedroom. 

Remember: there’s no need to get too anal about it, but you can’t be ignorant and do it without proper preparation and protection.

In the end, anal play isn’t for everyone. However, while vaginal sex is fulfilling, anal sex is the reward you get for having the courage to explore. I tried anal years ago and fell in love with it from the get-go. Try it – maybe you will, too!

Stay adventurous.

Stay safe.

Stay Devine.