Let’s get one thing straight: having a kink is nothing to be ashamed of! When I walk down the street, I always imagine what kink each person I pass has. And when I go to the sex shop, in all of my unashamed glory, I always find it adorable when people search around the store very discreetly for toys to satisfy their deepest kinks. Listen, you’ve already entered a sex shop, everyone knows you’re not there to buy candy – so you might as well make the most of it and go for the things that excite you at first glance.
When it comes to kinks, DDLG is one of the newest additions to the ‘extreme’ pleasure list. The term itself is an acronym that stands for Daddy Dom Little Girl. It is on the BDSM spectrum where the dominant partner is the one who takes on the role of a caregiver or a Daddy in this case. The submissive partner takes on a more childlike role, in this case, Little, that is taken care of by the Daddy.
In general, I think DDLG gets a really bad rep, especially with how mainstream the word daddy has become. Daddy has become associated with choking and bad Instagram posts where a ‘baddie’ poses with male hands around her neck. The truth is there’s much more to it than that and if you consider becoming a little or a daddy, there are some DDLG rules you need to have in mind.
But before that, we need to talk about what DDLG is NOT!
What is DDLG NOT?
Because DDLG is a relationship where one takes on a mature, parental persona and the other acts as a child, many people assume it’s related to pedophilia and incest. Let’s get one thing straight: Like any other BDSM, or any sexual relationship for that matter, DDLG involves two consenting adults. Keywords here: consenting adults!
Those who practice DDLG are normal functioning adults who engage in sexual roleplay that by no means glorify or condone pedophilia or incest. This is a sexual activity that happens behind closed doors and is a matter between two consenting adults. And now that we’ve cleared all the stigma and misconception let’s dive into the DDLG rules for littles you might want to know beforehand.
In most relationships, age-play has nothing to do with sexual activity and therefore cannot be categorized as a kink. It’s a simple means for adults who lead very stressful lives to enjoy their sex life, whether they feel like a beast or a damsel.
The General DDLG Rules for Littles
As with any relationship in the BDSM spectrum, you need to set up and follow some ground rules before engaging in any sexual activity. Keep in mind that DDLG can have non-sexual rules and activities too. It might seem a bit scary and overwhelming for you at first but you shouldn’t be, because the DDLG community is an extremely helpful one. You can find many forums, articles, and other educational materials on the matter, so you’ll be able to dive right in. It’s important to start things slow and explore getting into your little space, one step at a time.
So, let’s take the first step together. Take out your pens and papers, Daddies and Littles, and let’s go over the basics with Lady Devine.
Talk about it
Before you engage in any sexual activity, it’s important to be on the same ground. Talk about your boundaries and absolute no-no’s. I always preach that communication is the key to all sexual or non-sexual relationships because it’s important to understand one another. If you’re clear on what you’re expecting from your partner, the chances of you getting disappointed or hurt are slim. Once you get that out of the way and you’ve established common grounds, you can continue on to set the DDLG rules for littles and of course, enjoy yourself!
Set the DDLG Rules and Define Roles
Once you’ve gone over the boundaries you can set up the rules and define the roles. While most couples go for fixed roles, you might find that you’re interested in switching. That’s why, it’s important to define the roles too beforehand, so there’s no confusion or oppression.
When it comes to the DDLG rules, they are usually set to benefit the age regressor or the little in this situation. These can be bedtime, no swearing, saying please and thank you, limiting chocolate and candy intake, and anything else that you might think would be good. Just think about what rules would be suitable for a child and go with that.
Set the Punishments
Next would be to define the punishments that would follow when the DDLG rules for littles aren’t abided by. These are absolutely up to you to set but some examples would include taking toys away, withholding sexual or non-sexual activities, and limiting cartoon time. A popular punishment in the DDLG community is writing lines for example writing 50 times “I shall not use bad words in front of daddy again”. Spanking usually backfires, as the littles may turn brats and enjoy it too much.
In the end, this is completely up to you and your partner to decide on, based on the boundaries you’ve set before.
No Caregiver yet? DDLG Rules for Littles Still Apply
If you are still searching for a caregiver and still want to practice age regression, then in order to get into your little space, you can set some rules for yourself or use some general rules like:
- Bedtime is no later than 11:30
- Do your daily chores before anything else
- Feed pets
- Don’t use curse words
- Stay hydrated
- Always eat your veggies
And you can set yourself some punishments and rewards too, which won’t be as exciting as if you had a caregiver but they still should help you age regress and get into your little space.
Getting in Little Space
The little space is a very important thing in the age regression. For the little, it’s going to a carefree and safe state of mind that protects them against the constant daily stresses they might feel. It’s the job of the caregiver to help the little get into the little space. Keep in mind that this cannot be done by just anyone, and both the caregiver and the little should do the proper research beforehand.
Age play and regression, like any other type of relationship regardless of kinkiness, is meant to be fun. So above all else, it needs to be enjoyable for both partners. Regression is meant to be primarily healing and soothing and should suit both partners’ needs, so make sure to support each other and enjoy your DDLG relationship. When it stops being fun and it’s more of a chore, maybe it’s time you have a grownup talk.
DDLG, like other kinks, is a very specific one and requires the right set of people to engage in it. If you are a little just starting out, or you plan on becoming one, hopefully, these general rules have been helpful enough to grasp the whole concept. And by all means, don’t let the bad rep of DDLG divert you from trying it out or practicing it. There’s nothing wrong about having a kink that hurts absolutely no one around you.
Sex is about exploration and satisfaction, pure bliss…which is why you should do whatever pleases you. And if age play pleases you, then go ahead girl, and do your thing! Hopefully, I managed to clear up any confusion you might have had before, without creating a new one. And hopefully, these general rules were enough to get you started on your new and exciting sexcapades.
Remember to always practice open communication with your partner and to have set clear boundaries about what goes and what doesn’t. And if you take on the role of a little, you may be age-regressing but at the end of the day, you’re still an adult. So if at any point it starts to get uncomfortable, prepare to have a grownup talk with your partner. Sex is fun and enjoyable, and so should DDLG be for you too!
On that note, let’s end this article here as bedtime is approaching. Mommy Devine is signing out. Until our next run in,