When it’s the end of a long day and your boss was extra moody throughout the working hours by the time you finally get home, all of your thoughts gravitate towards your well deserved ‘me-time’. Comfortably laying in bed, you reach out to the nightstand for your favorite vibrating wonder guy, ready to relax and forget all of your worries – only to turn it on and realize the battery is out of juice!

Personal experiences aside, trust me, there is a solution to this little inconvenience, if only you are a bit brave – and very careful.

Let’s think outside the box for a moment. Why don’t you pay a visit to the bathroom for a sensual 1v1 session with the shower head? Or, if you’re really in a pinch the kitchen seems like a good place to start your search for a phallic-shaped stimulation, doesn’t it?

Here are my thoughts on homemade sex toys, and how to use them safely. Please note that regardless of how horny you are, being careful not to hurt yourself always should come first!

What Do You Mean: Home-Made Sex Toys?

I say this all the time, I know, but sex toys have been around as long as we have – and for a good reason. After all, a good sex partner is hard to come by, and I’m yet to meet a guy that gets me there quite as well as my favourite dildo. (Yes, I have multiple ones, and so should you!)

Then again, I fully understand if you don’t own one of these precious (not so little) things. You might feel ashamed of that Amazon shipment, or you may just be afraid someone will check your credit card history.

Nothing to worry about, you are surrounded by sex toys and don’t even know it.

Cucumbers? Really?

Come on, you know you’ve thought about it – there’s no point in denying it. It looks, feels and gets the job done just as good as a regular one. In some cases, it’s even better than a real dildo that people pay good money for!

There is a catch however. Always make sure to clean the cucumbers with water and mild soap, do so very gently as to avoid damaging the sturdy cucumber peel. Wrap the knob shaped vegetable in a condom and use some of your favorite lube before you start playing ‘hide the cucumber’ by yourself. 

Just as if you’re making a salad for your coochie, make sure the cucumber is fresh so you can get the most out of your fun time!

Oh, this goes without saying, but whatever you do with it, please, for the love of God, don’t eat the cucumber after. You can always compost it, though!

Pillow Fight!

Yes, penetrative sex is great and all, but sometimes your man is not around and it’s just you, the bed and a bunch of pillows. And trust me when I say this, they can be the best homemade sex toy you can have in your arsenal.

Just stack them high enough for your own comfort, and imagine you are on top of Jason Momoa. (Ok, I admit, that’s just my own personal preference, but damn, Jason…) Use the corners of the pillow to adjust the edges against your clitoris while you ride one out!

Friction is fun and rubbing yourself against clean pillows will give you a stimulation your clitoris hasn’t had in a long while. Just keep track of the fun pillows, you don’t want to put your face there when actually going to bed!

Taking Your BJ Game to the Next Level

You can’t have all the fun now, can you? Your man deserves the best ladies, and this little trick will take both of you on an epic journey of discovering a whole new range of unforgettable sensations.

Use a pearl necklace or any type of beaded jewelry that is smooth enough to place on the genitals. Gently wrap it around your partner’s penis and very slowly start jerking him off with your hand on top of the peals, gently clenching while you go up and down the shaft.

Pro tip: Kiss and suck on the tip while you are at it and watch how the spark in his eyes quickly turns into an uncontrollable fire of lust.

DIY Bondage Kit

If you want to get freaky without affecting your budget, you can still get the same results without spending extra cash on ‘exclusive’ kits, as a basic DIY bondage kit can help elevate your sex life without spending your savings. 

The most common BDSM kits typically include arm and leg restraints, a spank paddle, as well as a rope and a blindfold.

Pillowcases are great restraint substitutes since they can easily be looped around without any discomfort to the submissive. The backside of a hairbrush is smooth and works well for spanking beginners whereas a wooden spoon is great for those with a higher pain threshold.

Consider using a bathrobe tie as rope to hog-tie your partner in submissive bliss, or as a gag to silence the endless moans. 

You can be moister than an oyster if you stay curious and creative while exploring all the ways you can use every-day items to build up your kinky BDSM arsenal!

Bring In The Ice!

This one is a personal favourite of mine. Come on, who doesn’t get lost in a sex fantasy where your partner is rubbing ice against your lips and nipples?

As the ice perks up your nipples, your partner’s warm kisses will stimulate your senses into a passionate frenzy, as they keep moving the ice along the curves of your body. 

But you’re not the only one who should enjoy the icy sensations!

Suck a on an ice cube and then place your partner’s love sack in your mouth. The icy hot sensations are sure to bring him to a toe-curling orgasm and you’ll be dubbed a blowjob queen!

Absolutely amazing and a definite must-try if you are into sexy temperature play!


I feel that homemade sex toys get a bad reputation not because they’re impractical, but bacause people are gung-ho for orgasms without reading up and educating themselves. Taking some time to consider how you can safely use some household items for sexual enhancement and researching other people’s experiences can help you safely enjoy on-a-budget cumming. Should you follow the advice I just shared, they could turn out to be very useful and extremely satisfying!

After all, self pleasuring and sex are a field of personal and intimate journey, full of exploring and sometimes taking the path less travelled. Homemade sex toys can, and in my opinion should be a part of it. 

I hope you found these tips to resolve some of the mysteries you might’ve had on homemade sex toys. Just be careful how you use them and enjoy every second of it – you deserve it!

Until then,

Stay curious,

Stay adventurous,

Stay Devine!

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